Oh Hell No!

Beyonce who? These girls do it right? You heard.

Fierce!

The devil may wear Prada, but the Pope is workin' it. Do you ever wonder why child abuse is looked over when it comes to religous figures? You're not the only one. Out magazine is addressing this SHAMEFUL issue in it's latest issue. If you ask me, the people in charge of the Vatican are more concerned with which flat goes best with their robe. I can hardly blame them, but dont you think an open toe pump would be that much better?

First Nicole Now Lizzie!

Has eveyone gone fat? Well, hopefull Lizzie will no longer be in such a tragic state. She gave birth to a baby boy named Harrison Irving Stern. We hope he doesn't get anywhere near the back of her vehical. She could easily make Britney look like mother of the year.

Peter Boyle, Hero and Role Model

Peter Boyle died today at age 71. He just seemed like a funny guy in real life! Like the uncle that was funny but kind of told stories that were a little inappropriate to share at the table. I saw him once backstage at a Beyonce concert, too.

...But they Do NOT Bleed!

NICOLE RICHIE! LIAR! Ok, let's be honest here, whether she weighs 85 or 95 pounds, she is not getting her period. I'm reading all these blogs and newspapers comment about Nicole Richie blaming her vicodin/pot binge on "women issues" and wondering why nobody mentions that ana girls do not get their period!

Jean Claude Van Dame CAN GET DOWN!

Who knew that Jean Claude could pull out these moves! We hear that he is in talks with Britney to choreograph her revival tour...we'll keep you posted as we hear more.

Kirstie: Vintage

"I'd like to be married again...Not I'm confronting what I want in a man because I'm so friggin shallow. The way I used to judge a man was, 'Is he hot?'"

I LOVE THIS WOMAN

P.S. I couldn't get a real picture of Kirstie Alley and Parker Stevenson because they were married before the era of digital cameras and the internet.

OH WE LOVE US SOME DANITY

By the looks of the new Danity Kane video, it seems like the girls thought they needed a little cardio workout. For some reason they are just constantly walking...kinda random but WE LOVE IT! Danity Kane cannot do any wrong. Enjoy!

Stars Poop Too

The segment you've all been waiting for. Stars really do poop, and we're going to show you...THEY'RE JUST LIKE US. Victoria Beckham was given the highest honor, as the first to truly be featured in this segment. (Pooping out of windows does not count). Victoria, we salute you!

Hey, those edamame and infrequent sushi bites need to come out somehow!

Mel Gibson...Bah!

I'll go see a movie of his again...as soon as he jabs his thumb as hard as he can, straight into his eye socket. On TV. Think they can make a reality show out of it? Maybe the winner gets to do it for him.

Mel B's Baby Daddy is NOT happy

Eddie Murphy wants her to prove she's not a skanky lying ho. I believe her. Um, also, I'm not sure if it's Mel B or Mel G or C. I remember it rhymes, and there were two of them. Let's call her Scary Spice, even though it's really cliche, I still love her. Eddie Murphy needs a maternity test.

Who? Star Jones!

Entertainment tonight says that Star Jones has a new TV show! It's going to be about 'Black America'. Or it's called Black America. Probably both. She's going to host and produce. I think she should be the lawyer too. Oooh

Amy Poehler Caught In The Act!

Just when she had ranted against Britney Spears showing her "woman garden" to the world, and asking "What's next, pooping out of windows?" StarsPoopToo.com has exclusive evidence, backed up by photographic images that Amy Poehler has in fact pooped out of a window herself. She herself videotaped the act. We think an apology to Britney is in order...

Come on Amy, grow up.

RANT!

Let me set the record straight. Reality shows are reality. They are terribly funny to watch, but people like Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and now Tyra Banks claim that they use a "charachter" on their reality shows. I don't care who they really are, If I knew the real them. I understand that they would be boring to watch if the thing wasn't scripted, but lets be honest, this isn't serious acting. Sorry y'all, don't be calling Juliard any time soon.

Paris: Simple Life is a reality show and people might assume it’s real. But it's fake. All reality shows are fake basically. When you have a camera on you, you are not going to act like yourself. Before I started the show I thought I'd make a character like the movies Legally Blonde and Clueless mixed together, with a rich girl all-in-one...Even my voice is different and the way I dress is different from me in real life. It's a character I like to play. I think it's carefree and happy. The public think they know me but they really don't.

Act, my ass

Dove Paris????

So we all know that Paris is friends with Britney and ruining ANY chance of a comeback....BUT, WHERE IS PARIS' NEW SINGLE???? Here at Stars Poop Too (oh and yes, Nicole Richie is still FAT) we loved us some "Stars are Blind" and would love to hear the newest from her album. The lack of a single seems like she forgot that she even realeased an album. Here we like the remixed version of "Screwed" (not found on the album)....BRING IT TO THE CLUBS P.

Yeah...we were basically mentioned on SNL!!!

So check out this clip from last weeks SNL 'Weekend Update.' Amy Poehler rants about celebrity vagina, but then speculates what could be next...let's just say it has to do with our blog and we will be right there to bring all the shitty action.

OK we are video happy....BUT WE LOVE IT

WE are so happy to see that these guys have finally made it. We have been the biggest supporters even before they were signed to Arista...good luck Tunak Tunak guys!

UMM OK we lied again

This celebrity makes us laugh more than anyone...and seeing her HUGE face get hit with a football can't make us any happier.

I Think I Might Have Died and Gone To Heaven

This is by far my new favorite video....Heidi makes me laugh more than any celebrity! Keep up the good work gurl!

I should be allowed to edit the internet!

All pictures and videos of Brook Hogan should be deleted. The really, really scary part is how many people actually think she's hot and like her music!

I would like to explain to everyone how photoshop works. It has tools that allows a girl who looks like this in real life:



To look like this:



This is not the same person. The first girl is hard to look at, and does not sound good. The second picture is based on the first girl, but when you start airbrushing and changing facial features, you really don't have the same person in your picture. I am not explaining it further, just pretend like it's magic.

Love it so much!

I think we should all adopt this style of dancing on the floor while pumping knees and shoulders. Who's with me?

*Sigh*

They should just make it illegal to marry two people who will obviously not stay together. Listen, I really feel bad about the miscarriage and all, don't get me wrong, but there was not a human out there that thought the marriage of Kid Rock and Pam Anderson was gonna be long and blissful. He seems like a nice guy, I did meet him once at Ricks in Ann Arbor and had a nice little chat. It must be her.

Did Rachel Bilson Hire Rachel Zoe?

After the post below, about Misha Barton saying Rachel had too many curves, Starspooptoo has EXCLUSIVE INFO that Bilson hired Zoe to make her look more like that new "cookie cutter look"...and going straight to the source! Check it out!

Diana Ross and Beyonce Look Nothing Alike

I am in shock. OK, just because they have the same color skin does not mean Beyonce can play Diana Ross in a movie. NO! That is the closest I can get. I'm not happy with this at all. If it were up to me, here's what I'd do:

Mischa Barton spoils the minds of little girls everywhere

Although she once stated that she'd never want to have the curves of her costar, Rachel Bilson, Mischa has decided to say that "It's so wrong to try and stifle womanly curves, it shouldn't be promoted. This unhealthy look should be abandoned."

Seriously. Who told her to say that? You know that's not coming from her. Raise your hand if you think she really believes this. She also once said something about trying to be "discreetly sexual." Or something. Any picture of her that is not retouched looks horrible (see above and below). She looks gross, face, body, stature, personality. Ugh, Mischa, get on a treadmill and shut your damn mouth.









I have to go, I'm getting madder and madder as I write this.

At least we don't have another long, stupid quote from her!

Jessica Simpson is rumored to be dating another person I couldn't give a crap about. Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboys, I believe. I looked him up, he's not even that cute. She's rumored to be dating a new person every day. I had to post a picture of her with sunglasses because her eyes hypnotize and scare the shit out of me. This is him below. Step down from Nick, step up from John Mayer. This guy at least looks hot with his helmet on.

I personally think that Lindsay Lohan looks great as a natural redhead, with freckles.




Ugh, no I don't. She belongs in porn.

Vintage: I can't stop putting up photos of Nicole

No words neccessary. Um, other than, I like the shorts. That, and, after she lost all that weight (although she still has a long way to go), how does she still have tits? They're like, nubbins here. Did Nicole Richie get some work done?

Turtlenecks make people look fat!

This I did not know, but it's so obvious. It accentuates her arm fat.

Shorty like mine - Paris et Britney

Ok, so I didn't get a picture of Paris and Britney because I just love this picture of Brit. She is my heaven, and what I was thinking was, she should call Rachel Zoe, now that her and Nicole are in a feud. Slap on a pair of flat boots over skinny pants and she's halfway there. Also, I think Rach can help her with the baby chub.








Speaking of pictures that don't follow my line of thinking at all...
Here's an example of how Brit should look. Ugh, those bones are so fat.

SPLIT!

Rachel and Nicole are over!

I'm really upset with Nicole. What is she thinking gaining all this weight and then giving the axe to Zoe? This is the woman who took Nicole from pleated mini skirts and colorful extesions to Baleciaga and dangerous body weight. This is the woman who made America love Nicole, well what was left of her. I wonder if they make turn coats big enough to fit nicole?

And Next Phylicia Rashad...

This clip of the 90's club kids on the Joan Rivers show is pretty funny. Joan announcing who the following guest will be is hillarious.

Sodom and Gomorrah? Sign me up!

So Israel "registers" gay marriages performed outside of Israel. They still can't get married in the state of Israel because the ultra-orthodox Jews control state marriage. But still, they're doing the best they can despite the ultra relig. Mazal Tov.

I think Natalie Portman should use her influence to get some shit done around there.

If only...

this picture was real, THEN THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE! Kate keep working on it...maybe one day, if you're lucky.

ANOTHER gay celebrity comes out

Maddox Jolie-Pitt has released the following statement:

"The public eye has always been kind to me, and until recently I have been able to live a pretty normal life. Now it seems there is speculation and interest in my private life and relationships."

"So, rather than ignore those who choose to publish their opinions without actually talking to me, I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest and feel most fortunate to be working with wonderful people in the business I love."

CONGRATS MADDOX! We are so proud!

You hear me?

Ms. Peachez is about to school you on some chicken. Word.

AND THE WINNER IS.....

After hundreds upon hundreds of replies to the MK photo contest, we have chosen the winner. MW shows that she can compete with the big girls...well not they aren't really big (unless you count the hundreds of pounds Nicole Richie has recently put on)!

Calls to MK:
Sunken Cheeks
Gaunt Eyes
Head over Shoulder Pose
Bones Out!

Fab-U-Lash job! Keep sending your submissions! We love it!

HOW TO...

have the worst hair in Hollywood. Watch the video below to get the hair stylings that Ashlee Simpson fell in love with (when she was ugly)...THANK GOD she got hot.

Who's the lesbian? YOU DECIDE!

Which is the 70's porn star?? YOU DECIDE!

Put our open toes on and get JAZZY

2/3's of Stars Poop Too LOVE THEM SOME DANITY KANE. We have found out that "Ride for You" will be the next single...BUT WE THINK THIS IS A HUGE MISTAKE. Check out this homemade video of the song and tell us HOW MUCH YOU LOVE IT! If you're gay and live in Chicago, our Mid-West editor says that its already the hit of the century at the bars! oh danity

Sorry to disappear, BUT...

Sorry for the lack of updates recently...the staff here has been really busy trying to get the latest scoop on all THE DIRT. To make up for our absense, we have included some more coupons to enjoy this weekend. Watch out, most are for this weekend only!! ENJOY!

15% Off Express

30% Off Levi

15% Off Lord & Taylor

30% Off NewYork&Co.

Let's here it for the boy.

I'm really happy for Marc Jacobs right now. At first I thought a 26 year old boyfriend who has been rumored to be an ex-porn star (not that there's anything wrong with that) was a bad idea for the most saught after designer on earth. But now I can see that little Mr. Jason Preston's influence has made MJ loose about 30lbs and 10 years. You go boys! You're both hot!

How you doin'

Cheers to you Wendy Williams!

We love Wendy here at Stars Poop Too. She is our Super-Star Pooper of the Day!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's talk about it Dina.

Dina Lohan is shopping her talk show around to different networks. She describes the show as an "Apprentice-y, game show-y thing." Adding, "it’s a girl-empowered, woman show." I don't care what the show is about. That woman is such a hot mess I would watch a show about her trying to live the lifestyle of her famous daughter. Oh, that's right - I already do.

Kelly's Latest Epic.

Very different feel from 'Shoes'. And also FANTASSSSTIC!

Why DID we lose our tails?

Bridgette from Girls Next Door (the slighyl chunkier, slightly stupider one) is the best! I just love when she asks why we lost our tails. It's a long movie, but just keep fast forewarding to her. We would be best friends if we hung out. Fave quote:

"The Captain Morgan really looked like Captain Morgan. Not like, Jonny Depp or anything"

Seperated at Birth

I think Britney is taking lessons in class from Anna Wintour. And who better to teach? Keep up the good work Brit!

ANOTHER LATE BREAKING STORY!

Again, you heard it here first...Bradon Davis is clairvoyant!!! You might remeber this incident a few weeks ago:




Well, he was right! Last night, a source at Hyde tells us that Lindsay arrived and was doing her normal thing...dancing, high kicks, lots of coke, screaming at old boyfriends...you know the usual...when all of a sudden Lindsay Lohan's crotch caught on FIRE! The star is OK, she is currently at her second home in Cedar Sinai.

Brandon, if you are reading this (which I'm sure you are) call us! We want to scoop the next story and with your gift I think we can take this blog to the next level!

Before the rest of these hoes....

That's right...before Nicole, Kate Bosworth, Mrs. Beckham, Kirstie Alley, there was the one and only MARY KATE! And we love her for that! So to pay homage to the living legend herself...please send photos of yourself in what we like to call "Mary-Kate Face." Sink in, bones out, NO FAT!

A little inspiration for you...suck in thoese cheeks, makes those eyes look gaunt and lifeless, stick out those bones.... NOW GO!!!